Eyewitness to Heaven by Felix Halpern
Time for sleep. I kissed my wife Bonnie and said, “I’ll see you in the morning.” But the morning never came, at least not the way it normally did. That morning my heart stopped, and I found myself dead… and in Heaven. More on that in a moment, but first, let me back up a few years…I was raised by a Holocaust survivor. My maternal grandfather led one of the many underground movements against the Nazis, recruiting Dutch people to shelter Jews. My paternal grandfather was an Orthodox rabbi in Germany. My entire paternal line lost their lives under the brutality of the Nazi regime. Over the years, the war was a forbidden subject in our family. However, as time went on, information began to emerge more and more, like a dripping faucet. In that environment my consciousness of antisemitism and the plight of our people along with the history of our family became deeply seated. Yet my father came out of the war years abandoning his Jewish heritage entirely to escape the pain. This left an indelible mark upon my life also, where I would later seek to reclaim that heritage. As a young man I found work in the “Diamond District” in New York City. Those early days were filled with fondness, deep satisfaction and success according to the world’s standard. Primarily an industry of Orthodox Jews from various parts of Eastern Europe, it was a time when multimillion-dollar deals were made with a simple handshake because a man’s word was his bond. My life was blessed serving as Vice President of a precious metals firm.
A Supernatural Journey
In my early twenties I found something more precious than the diamonds that would pass through my hands for two decades. I met my bashert, a well-known Yiddish and Hebrew term meaning “destined” or “meant to be.” Bonnie and I got married in 1976 on Shavuot (a Jewish feast also called Pentecost) and have been soulmates ever since. Bonnie came from a Reformed Jewish background with a strong Jewish identity, while I embarked on my own journey of a cultural and spiritual aliyah. In Jewish tradition, aliyah—meaning “ascent”—refers to a Jew’s physical return to Israel. It was a reclamation of my heritage and a homecoming. It wasn’t hardship that drove us to desperation in search of God. Nor was it financial struggle or issatisfaction with life. Our journey wasn’t about escaping pain, but about pursuing the divine. We had no doubt that God was real and within Him lay an ocean of spiritual life waiting to be discovered. We longed to drink deeply of His presence. We shared a deep-seated hunger for God. There was always an unshakable knowing within our kishkes—a Yiddish word meaning “gut” or “innermost being”—that there was more! As early as nine years old, Bonnie experienced visitations from God through dreams and visions. She always shared her encounters with her parents, but they dismissed them, saying, “It’s just your imagination; they’re only dreams.” God appeared in her room multiple times hovering over her, which left her feeling like a tiny creature sitting in the cleft of His mighty hand. When we got married, every step of spiritual growth and experience only confirmed that there was more! Like many Jews, we were curious about the supernatural. I call it a quiet persistent whisper for something eternal. This whisper, this pull, is not just a spiritual curiosity, it is what I have found to be the echo of Heaven calling me home. Jews are taught to ask questions and to think for themselves. So, in Jewish fashion we began a quest to answer that persistent whisper. Bonnie sought the miracle-working God she had learned about in her Jewish upbringing, longing to discover the truth for herself—to see if He was as real and powerful as she had been taught. As for me, my heart yearned for something deeper, a personal relationship with the Lord—one that religion alone could never fulfill. I had knowledge of God, but I had yet to truly know Him, to experience His presence beyond traditions and doctrines. My soul longed for an encounter that would transform belief into certainty and faith into intimacy. In 1977, we both found our answer in Yeshua, Jesus, the Jewish Messiah!
We Were Meshuga, Crazy!
The rhythms of family life with two children marched on quickly. But we always had an interest in the profound spiritual mysteries of God and the supernatural realm. Before long a growing desire took root in our hearts to dedicate our lives more fully to the service of Yeshua. Then, the moment came when God declared that we were ready. Bonnie and I had no understanding of the full magnitude of what lay ahead, but the time had come to take an extraordinary step of faith that defied human reasoning. We strongly felt the Lord’s direction to resign from my position as Vice President, liquidate our savings and retirement, and completely divest ourselves from the world’s economic system. We were to live entirely by faith to the point of also pulling out of Social Security. In obedience, we gave everything away. God was leading us to a place of absolute dependence—down to zero, in fact. To make it more daunting, we had just built a new home with a significant mortgage, and our eldest daughter was only seven years away from college. Our decision made no sense—we were as the Yiddish word says, meshuga, meaning, “crazy” or “insane.” The path before us was either a doorway to disaster or an invitation to divine blessing. Our money was gone! Now, standing at the edge of complete surrender, we asked, “Lord, what do we do now?” We were about to enter a season of faith unlike anything we had ever known, much like Moshe, or Moses, which is my Hebrew name, who had to trust God for provision in the wilderness. In time, an unexpected benefactor emerged, a wealthy individual who not only paid off our home and covered our daughter’s college expenses but also gifted us a brand-new car. In what can only be described as divine provision, we found ourselves entirely debt-free. God had called us to walk by faith, and when we obeyed, He revealed Himself as our unfailing Partner. We discovered again and again that the Truth of Messiah, which we gave our lives to, was real. Yeshua was and is the genuine Jewish Messiah. Yet, something extraordinary was about to upend our lives completely.
The Adventure Begins
It was 3:00 am on a September morning in 2019 when my world shifted forever. I like to say I was awakened by the King’s guard, but it was no mere awakening—it was a summons. My heart stopped, and I died from a medical-related error. Looking back in the hours before it all began, I didn’t realize how severe my condition was. You see a month had passed where I was filled with an acute disruption from what doctors called an internal levothyroxine storm raging throughout my body. Pain every day. Burning in my midsection that felt like a fiery furnace. All of which was the result of a mistaken overdose in a prescription from my doctor, causing me to ingest seven and a half months of medication in 29 days. Yes, 29 days! When taken in such excess, it’s a toxic cocktail that can lead to a myriad of symptoms including coma, cardiac arrest, and even sudden death. Unbeknownst to me at the time, I was experiencing cardiac arrest for the duration of a full evening. I had read and heard many stories of heart attacks and the deep discomfort that comes with them. In hindsight I should have heeded the signs. Bonnie has finally forgiven me for not calling 911 or immediately going to the hospital. Death knocks on everyone’s door, rich or poor, famous or obscure. There is no stopping it. Thankfully, I didn’t just drift into a deep dark abyss following death. I crossed over into the realm that many say doesn’t exist—Heaven. What followed was a first-hand encounter with Heaven. No longer an abstract concept or distant reality, it was a profoundly real experience that reached into the very core of my existence. Now my questions were no longer philosophical musings. They became urgent. The weight of eternity pressed upon me, and with it, a divine invitation to step beyond mere intellectual understanding, and into true spiritual revelation. It was no longer that I just believed in Heaven, I now saw it and tasted its glory. Before I share my story of Heaven, let me offer some clues. I find that our view of God shapes our connection to life’s greatest mysteries, and it influences how we face eternity’s questions. For some, God is an impersonal force, a builder who made everything, but doesn’t care what happens to each person. Others see God as a loving parent, very involved in every little thing we do, happy when we’re happy and sad when we’re sad. Some think God is everywhere, making sure everything is fair and right in the universe. But one universal question has loomed in the minds of philosophers and the curious throughout the ages: Is there life after death? And if so, is it based upon God or some other source of life? I think every person should know.
Pearly Gates Swing Wide Open
What I am about to share now is not from stories in books or pictures on pages I thumbed through in the Bible. Everything was in living color with audible sounds. These were not fleeting visions or vague impressions. They were tangible, life-altering encounters that left me with a commission: Return to this world to share what I had seen, felt and learned. And as always, I determined to understand more. When I died early that morning in 2019, I was swept beyond the veil to experience the glory of Heaven. It was an ordinary morning that ended with an extraordinary encounter that forever transformed me—physical death occurred, and my spirit was lifted to Heaven. Until then I had never imagined the true nature of the other side so vividly. And that quiet persistent whisper for something eternal I found in the echo of Heaven calling me home. To describe Heaven with words is like trying to bottle the ocean with cupped hands. It spills over. It defies containment. Every syllable falls short because Heaven is not learned—it is known. It is not described—it is revealed. The only way to approach this daunting task is through echoes, glimpses and metaphors that barely touch its surface. It is a glimpse into the soul of our Creator. Therefore, Heaven is the soul of creation itself. Imagine a landscape bathed in radiant golden light, where the sky glows with hues beyond earthly comprehension—soft blues, shimmering golds, and deep, living purples. Rolling fields of flowers bloom endlessly. Their petals appear translucent, glowing with an inner light, swaying in a breeze that carries the scent of purity and joy. I wish you could see how the flowers clothed the fields, their blossoms never fading or withering. All this glory is seated in a backdrop of rolling landscapes stretching like a canvas endlessly. Majestic trees and towering mountains stand as testimonials to God’s glory, towering up in breathtaking splendor with peaks seemingly reaching into Heaven’s canopy. I stood by a crystal-clear river, more brilliant than any gem. Then I put my hand in its water, which was shimmering, almost silky in appearance. It pulsed with life-giving energy—every cell, every living organism—because in Heaven everything exists in perfect life. The riverbed was adorned with radiant gemstones whose vibrant hues cast dazzling rays of light across the surface, creating a brilliance that seemed alive. The Northern Lights hold no comparison. The air, or space, of Heaven itself is alive, filled with warmth, love, and the laughter of saints and angels rejoicing. On earth I awaken to birds singing in the morning, but in Heaven it’s the rejoicing of angels, the saints, and a spectrum of life-giving sounds. This is because in Heaven, life begets life. Heaven is life in its purest form. The presence of God saturates everything. An indescribable love fills every individual. There is no shadow, no pain, only the eternal embrace of divine glory and the everlasting celebration of life. There is no night of course, because everything and everyone is sustained by God’s glory, which is light. I felt free from the natural sustainable elements of sleep, food and water, because it is an entirely self-sustaining environment that is designed for the incorruptible saints and angels. Imagine
living in a blissful, glory-filled atmosphere that is sparkling with gold flecks.
Crossing Over
When the spirit crosses over Heaven’s threshold, a profound weight is lifted shedding the remnants of earthly burdens. No longer bound by gravity, an “airiness” takes over bringing a freedom and lightness—nothing less than a rebirth into pure spirit. Instantly, I heard a “hum” in the spiritual realm. This hum is woven into Heaven’s essence that I believe is God’s audible manifestation of His boundless energy and life. Like the body has an inherent energy, so does Heaven. The air is alive with sound and energy. Every part of it feels like a musical note, blending in perfect harmony. Even the soft whisper of the wind moves with purpose and joy, weaving through the bright colors and glowing light. Heaven is a place of connection, love, and belonging—completely opposite the empty, lifeless silence of Hell. This made me realize how powerful sound really is. Silence, when filled with God’s presence, can be peaceful and sacred, like when the Bible says, “Be still and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10 NKJV). But silence without Him isn’t peace, it’s emptiness.
Emotions of Heaven
Heaven is the absolute true and original nirvana (glory, bliss, joy and paradise). Every promise offered by Eastern religions, New Age philosophies, etc. is a counterfeit. Only Heaven releases the deepest desires and highest aspirations of the spirit. It’s where our every emotion is perfected, where a complete peace silences every former worry. Heaven is a complete feeling of emancipation—I was free! It’s what happens when your spirit is released from your body. I felt free as a bird soaring effortlessly through an endless sky. The moment I arrived I felt utter gratification and satisfaction on a level that cannot happen on earth. In Heaven every yearning is answered, nothing is left unfulfilled. I wasn’t thinking of who or what I had left behind. I had absolute unfettered attainment because my race had been run, and the height of every hope and the answer to my every prayer had been met. For all these reasons, Heaven overflows with unmitigated serenity. Serenity comes when there is ultimate peace. In Heaven peace saturates your spiritual being so completely that it becomes the very essence of your existence. And there is laughter in Heaven too because all are filled with a holy delight. This delight resonates so deeply because everyone has innocence again. Heaven is also an endless expanse of living light. It’s like a golden horizon just before sunrise, except the sun never rises because the light is already there, and it never fades. Heaven is a place where music is not merely heard, but every fiber of your being resonates with the melody of divine joy. It is an eternal garden where the flowers do not fade, where the air itself breathes with the scent of holiness and where the rivers run with liquid joy. Stepping into Heaven is like walking through the door of a house you’ve never seen, yet every part of you remembers it. It’s not just home, it is belonging itself.
Reflections of Originality
Heaven is like standing before a mirror, but it does not show your reflection, it reveals who you were always meant to be. Everyone becomes the best version of themselves in Heaven. (I’ll share more on that in a moment.) If the breath of God could take form, if love itself could be seen, it would be Heaven—the place where life does not merely exist but overflows. Yeshua is the absolute embodiment of Heaven’s love. Paul describes Him in Hebrews 1:3 (NKJV): Who being the brightness of His glory, and the express image of His person, and upholding all things by the word of His power, when He had by Himself purged our sins, sat down on the right hand of the Majesty on high.
What if Colors Could Sing?
Colors exist in Heaven that have never been seen on earth. They move like fire through the fabric of eternity due to their brilliance and life. Imagine a color that burns like an eternal fire but does not consume—a fire that shifts in hues unknown, flowing like liquid but pulsing like a heartbeat. Instead of simply reflecting light, these colors generate their own luminescence, moving and shifting as if they are alive. Think of gold infused with sapphire merging in a fluid state, not as two separate colors but as a single unified radiance that flickers and breathes. Earthly colors exist within red, blue and green wavelengths. But imagine ultraviolet gold, not seen but felt, where light carries the sensation of warmth. Or an emerald blue that shimmers with silver undertones yet also possesses depth. Some colors exist as multi-dimensional hues, not just flat shades but living depths that contain infinite variations in a single instant—a hue that resonates in harmonics, filling the soul with its presence rather than simply appearing to the eye. An opal-like fire that dances, shifting through a thousand unknown shades but never truly “changing,” it simply is. Think of a celestial white. Not white as we know it, but a trillion radiant hues fused into one, moving and breathing with divine energy. Life begets life in Heaven because everything is living and interacting with our eternal spirit.
How Does One Return from Heaven? My Cup Runneth Over!
When it was time for the Lord to breathe life back into my body, I was halfway between lying and siting on the couch. A rush of wind came into my mouth and entered the deepest recesses of my lungs. I took a deep breath like I had been underwater and broke the surface gasping for air. Following a battery of tests in the months that followed to ensure that my organs had not been damaged from the intense dosage of medication, the doctors were confounded to report that my blood work was like a young person! I returned with a much fuller cup than when I left. I see the world as a glass half full, and getting fuller, as opposed to half empty. I don’t see the problems, the political wars and the mortal struggles. I choose to stay in the light and away from the darkness. Time is too short to squander precious moments on temporal and fading concerns. My spirit that is seated in heavenly places dominates my soul more. I have returned from Heaven to reclaim truth.
Experiencing Hell
Unlike Heaven, which defies description, Hell is disturbingly easy to put into words. While Heaven filled me with unspeakable joy, the visitation God allowed me to experience in Hell left me utterly shaken. We often choose to forget, or perhaps deliberately ignore, that beneath the seemingly tranquil fabric of our daily lives lies a hidden underworld, teeming with a grim and dreadful existence, one no soul would ever willingly embrace. Hell is a place of suffocating darkness, where despair is like an unbroken succession of torment that never ceases. It’s more than a place of punishment—Hell stands as a stark testament to the cosmic battle between good and evil, where the destinies of countless souls, including loved ones, friends, and strangers alike, hang in the balance. Those who descend into its depths are not merely imprisoned but are irrevocably transformed by the overwhelming darkness that saturates this dreadful realm and desolate abyss of despair. Hell is not the haunted place of folklore, filled with ghosts and goblins either. There are only restless souls, the remnants of those who once lived, once held promise. Souls from every walk of life, real people, once human, are forever severed from the love of God and those they once cherished. For just as Heaven is the ultimate reunion, Hell is the ultimate separation. For nearly six thousand years, Hell has been filling up—a grim reality that I can no longer ignore. Their cries are echoed in Hell’s barren, lifeless expanse. One does not have to be the greatest sinner to end up in Hell. “Bad” people aren’t the only ones there—it’s filled with anyone who has rejected God’s offer of salvation, good or bad. In life, our choices are our own, but once we cross the threshold into eternity, we step into a realm where God’s sovereignty reigns supreme. If one chooses to deny God in life, Hell becomes the only destination left. The greatest torment of all is that every soul in Hell knows the truth about God. The moment one dies, all doubt vanishes. God’s existence becomes undeniable, and for those who rejected Him in life, that revelation comes too late as they are forever severed from His presence. This understanding intensifies their torment. Now in Hell, they live with the eternal consequences of rejecting the truth, trapped in regret and suffering forever. For those still living, there is still hope. Even as I write this, death will knock at someone’s door before midnight. Another soul will cross the threshold into eternity, but where will it go? It is time to declare with unwavering conviction: Enough! Hell is the dreadful consequence of a choice made in this life. And when that final breath is drawn, the soul is set upon one of two irrevocable paths: one leading into the glorious embrace of Heaven, the other descending into the unrelenting torment of Hell. There are no other roads. The question is: which path will you take?
Instant Revelation: Knowing Without Learning
The Bible says that For a thousand years in Your sight are like yesterday when it passes by, or like a watch in the night (Psalm 90:4 NASB). When I crossed over into Heaven, time itself shifted into something beyond my ability to measure or define. On earth, time is linear, a sequence of moments moving in only one direction. But in Heaven, time stretches, compresses, and unfolds all at once. It was as if I had stepped into a reality where past, present and future existed simultaneously, seamlessly intertwined in a divine order beyond
human comprehension. I understood then why Scripture declares: But, beloved, do not forget this one thing, that with the Lord one day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day (2 Peter 3:8 NKJV). In Heaven, time was not restrictive or confining; instead, it expanded like an infinite horizon, where knowledge, experience and truth were not separated into sequences but existed in a perpetual “now.” I could have spent what felt like mere moments in Heaven yet lived an eternity in that time. Every thought, every realization, every encounter unfolded in an instant, yet with infinite depth and richness. On earth, we gain knowledge through study, experience and time. We Jews like to ask questions, we seek, we struggle to understand. But in Heaven, there are no barriers to knowledge—no process of discovery, no delay in receiving understanding. Instead, truth came fully formed, complete, absolute and alive. It wasn’t merely information; it was a living reality that I became aware of the moment I stepped into it. I understood these words: For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known (1 Corinthians 13:12 KJV). It was as if I had always known these revelations but had forgotten them during my earthly existence. There was no need to ask; the answers were already within me, unveiled in an instant as I stood in the presence of divine reality. In that place, understanding was not acquired, it was remembered.
My earthly mind had once strained to grasp the mysteries of God, but in Heaven, those mysteries were no longer mysteries at all—just truth, known in its fullness.
The Unveiling of My True Self
The most extraordinary moment in Heaven came when my true self was unveiled. It was a flash of indescribable clarity. I saw myself, not as I had been on earth, but as I truly was. I became the best version of myself, the person God had always designed me to be. No brokenness. No insecurity. No limitations. It wasn’t that I had been transformed into someone new, but rather that the veils had been removed, and I was revealed as I had always been in God’s eyes. I experienced the following words: Beloved, now we are children of God; and it has not yet
been revealed what we shall be, but we know that when He is revealed, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is (1 John 3:2 NKJV). On earth, most of us struggle with our identities being shaped by our failures and the weight of a fallen world. We spend our life searching for purpose, meaning, and identity. But the person we are in Heaven is the one God has always known. It had been hidden beneath the weight of this world but never lost. For the first time, I understood on a deeper level the following Scripture: For you died, and your life is hidden with Messiah in God. When Messiah, who is our life, appears, then you also will appear with Him in glory (Colossians 3:3-4 NKJV). It wasn’t just my mind that understood this—I felt it, lived it, became it. There was no separation between my soul and my spirit, no fragmentation. I was fully aligned in the presence of God, standing in the fullness of who I had always been created to be. Everything was unveiled: But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord (2 Corinthians 3:18 NKJV).
The Revelation: Heaven Was Always Home
This isn’t just about me; it’s about all of us. The true self that is unveiled in Heaven is the same true self that is veiled within every person walking this earth. Every soul, crafted in the image of God, carries within him or her an identity that is not defined by this world but by the eternal reality of Heaven. Heaven is not just a destination you see—it is a revelation. It’s our home, not in the sense of a place far away, but as the original reality from which we have come. It has never been distant. It has always been there, just beyond the veil. I understood then why Jesus spoke so often about the Kingdom of Heaven being near. Not far, not distant—near. It was always within reach, always closer than we realize. Our truest selves, our heavenly selves, exist even now, hidden with Messiah, waiting to be fully revealed. For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed (Romans 8:19 NIV). As I stand in that glorious reality, I know I am never far from home. You also, are never far from home. Deep within you is that that quiet persistent whisper for something eternal—this whisper, this pull, is your echo of Heaven calling your heart and soul home.
Commentary by Sid Roth
I never heard much talk about the Messiah when I was a child. At our Passover seder we would open the door for Elijah to announce the Messiah. But the adults viewed the event as a fairy tale, almost like the Jewish version of Santa Claus. As I got older, I realized it was just “pretend,” but I went along with the charade for the sake of the young children and “tradition.” Every Passover we read Psalm 118:22: “The stone which the builders rejected is become the chief cornerstone.” Now I know that the cornerstone we builders (the Jewish people) rejected is the Messiah. No wonder Elijah never came to our Passover seder. Messiah had already come to die at Passover. Isaiah 53:7 says He was “like the [Passover] lamb which is led to the slaughter.” The name “Passover” comes from Exodus 12:13: And the blood shall be to you for a token upon the houses where ye are; and when I see the blood, I will pass over you; and there shall be no plague against you to destroy…But why was blood necessary? Leviticus 17:11 says, For the life of the flesh is in the blood; and I have appointed it for you upon the altar to make an atonement for your souls; for the blood it is that maketh an atonement for the soul. In other words, a blood sacrifice was the only acceptable substitute to atone for sin. During the first Passover, the blood was to be applied to the doorposts. Later, under the Mosaic Covenant, an animal had to be sacrificed in the Temple on the altar (see Lev. 1:11). This is why we read in the Talmud, Yoma 5a, there can be no Yom Kippur without blood. Since the Temple was destroyed in A.D. 70, there have been no Temple sacrifices for forgiveness of sin. In fact, 40 years before the Temple was destroyed, the ancient rabbis recognized ominous supernatural signs that God no longer accepted the animal sacrifices that were offered (Yoma 39a,b). That was the year Jesus died for our sins. Even the Jewish prophet Daniel said our Messiah would come and die, not for His own sins, but for ours before the Temple was destroyed (see Dan. 9:26). True Judaism requires the blood of atonement of Jesus! Since we have no Temple today, either our sins cannot be atoned for, or God has already sent His Messiah. Of whom is this Yom Kippur prayer from a traditional Jewish prayer book speaking? Our righteous anointed is departed from us: horror hath seized us, and we have none to justify us. He hath borne the yoke of our iniquities and our transgression, and is wounded because of our transgression. He beareth our sins on His shoulder, that He may find pardon for our iniquities. We shall be healed by His wound, at the time that the Eternal will create Him as a new creature.
Endnotes
1. Form of Prayers for Day of Atonement, rev. ed., (New York: Rosenbaum and Werbelowsky, 1890), 287-88
